Better Off
by lovehealsx88
Summary: It seemed that everything happened in the winter. MarkRoger.


_The sky is falling and it's early in the morning,_

_But it's okay somehow._

_I spilt my coffee, it went all over your clothes._

_I gotta wear mine now._

_And I'm always, always, always late._

_And my hair's a mess, even when its straight._

The sun shone brightly through the make-shift curtains in Mark's bedroom, waking Roger up. He sighed and looked to his right. There was Mark, sleeping peacefully in his arms. Roger smiled as he checked the alarm clock sitting on the table beside the bed. It was early. Too early to wake Mark up, but too late for Roger to go back to sleep. Carefully and quietly, Roger untangled himself from the sleeping filmmaker and creeped out to the kitchen. He quickly busied himself, making a pot of coffee and pouring a bowl of captain crunch. He ate quietly, waiting for the coffee to complete, pouring himself a cup when it finally had. Roger placed the empty bowl in the sink and took his steaming cup to the windowsill.

It was a cold January morning and the sun was still rising. Roger sat and watched as the sky faded from gray to pink to orange and yellow. Roger sighed as he stared into the sky, his thoughts filled with the pain and joy the winter months had brought him. April had left him with a note in November. He began withdrawal in January. Then eleven months later, he met Mimi. Mimi had taught him how to live again, and more importantly, how to love again. She had given him only a year before she too left him. Then, after a year of grieving, moping and detaching, came Mark.

Mark. Quiet, dependable Mark. They had lived together for six years and in those six years, Mark and Roger had become best friends. Mark went to all of Roger's shows, he was listened when Roger needed to talk, he helped Roger through April, HIV, withdrawal and Mimi. Mark was always there. It took Roger six full years to realize it. Mark wasn't leaving him, not like April and not like Mimi. Mark was here to stay. Mark had been the first to make a move. At first, it was a surprise to Roger, but then he realized how right it felt. He realized how much he wanted and needed Mark to be more than just his friend. And Mark happily reciprocated that want and need.

It seemed that everything happened in the winter.

Now, three weeks into January, Roger sat at the windowsill watching the sunrise. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but he guessed about an hour or so. He realized he hadn't finished his coffee and brought it up to his lips. As he took a big sip of the cold liquid, he felt a pair of arms snake around his waist, squeezing his sides. Roger jumped, spitting his coffee onto the red sweatshirt he had stolen off Mark's floor. Roger sighed, knowing he'd have to take the shirt off before going to work later on. Mark smirked as he took a seat on the windowsill in front of his boyfriend. As Mark opened his mouth to say hello to Roger, Roger quickly silenced him with lips on lips. Roger slowly moved his lips over Mark's, mustering as much passion as he could. He wanted Mark to understand how much Roger appreciated him and everything he had done for him in the last six years. When Roger pulled away, both were flushed and left gasping for breath. Roger gently pressed their foreheads together, smiling at the epitome of perfection sitting in front of him.

"Rog, you're late for work." Mark laughed lightly as he watched the smile quickly fade from the guitarist's face, only to be replaced with a look of panic. Roger jumped up, cursing to himself as he ran into his bedroom and changed his clothes. When he emerged, he pulled on his leather jacket and gave Mark a quick kiss before running out the loft door. As he made his way down the street, he realized he hadn't showered or brushed his teeth. Roger shoved his hand into he jacket pocket, feeling around for a piece of gum or a mint he could pop in his mouth. Unfortunately, all he found was a half empty pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out along with his lighter, hoping the scent of tobacco would hide any smell trying to emerge from his mouth. Roger sighed, running his hands through his hair quickly before pulling open the door to the bar.

_But so what?_

_I'm better off every day,_

_When I'm standing in the pouring rain._

_I don't mind,_

_I think of you and everything's alright._

_I used to think I had it good,_

_But now I know that I misunderstood._

_You would say I'm better off in every way._

Nine hours later, Roger shut the door and began making his way down the street towards the loft. Unlike this morning, the sky was dark. There seemed to be one giant, black cloud in the sky, threatening to release it's cold water onto the streets of New York. Roger began to walk quicker, hoping to get home before the rain. As he was walking, his thoughts traveled back to this morning. He had spent hours just thinking about his past and present lovers. Roger knew he loved April and he certainly loved Mimi, but neither compared to the love he felt for Mark. Although he had never told the filmmaker his feelings out loud, he was certain Mark knew how he felt. They had only been together two weeks and Roger felt it was still too soon for that kind of depth in the relationship. 'But,' Roger thought, 'it's been building up for six years. It's not like it's a surprise.'

A few blocks from the loft, Roger felt tiny drops of rain hitting his skin. Within seconds the sky seemed to have broken open, sending a downpour of rain to the ground. Roger sighed as he started running the remaining distance to the apartment where he hoped Mark was waiting for him. Roger pulled out his keys and made his way up the stairs, finding it more and more difficult with each step, his clothes weighing him down. With one more floor to go, Roger stopped. He slowly walked over to the apartment that was once occupied by Mimi. As he was about to slide the heavy door open, he heard laughter coming from inside. Roger sighed, Mimi had been gone for over a year, of course the apartment had been given to someone else. Once Roger had made his way to the loft, he slid open the metal door and kicked off his wet boots. He made his way to his bedroom, peeling off his dripping layers and changing into warm, dry clothes. When he re-entered the living room, there was Mark.

_Things are finally, finally looking up._

_Oh my feet are on the ground, even though I'm stuck._

Mark always waited for Roger to come home from work. It had been a tradition of sorts since Roger had began bartending four months ago. Roger smiled and made his way to the couch, sitting on the floor so he wouldn't disturb the sleeping filmmaker. Once again, Roger's thoughts went back to April, Mimi and, of course, Mark. Roger reached his hand up and gently traced Mark's face with his finger, kissing him lightly on the temple. Roger smiled again as Mark stirred, his eyes fluttering open. Mark's beautiful blue eyes immediately met Roger's stunning green ones, and that was when Roger decided he needed to tell him how he felt. Mark smiled, grabbing one of Roger's hands in his own as Roger slowly bent down to capture Mark's lips in a passionate kiss. As Roger slowly pulled away, he looked Mark in the eyes and smiled.

"Mark, I..." Roger looked down, finding it hard to continue. He considered almost saying 'nevermind' until he felt Mark gently squeeze his hand, encouraging him to continue. Roger looked back up to Mark, the love of his life, and suddenly he knew what he was doing was right. He never hesitated to tell April or Mimi that he loved them. In fact he told them almost immediately. But Mark was different, Mark was special. Mark was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his short life with. Roger had never felt this strongly about April and Mimi, he was never given the chance. They were ripped away from him before he was able to discover this kind of love. But Mark was here. And Mark wasn't going anywhere. Roger smiled and Mark before continuing again.

"Mark, I love you." His voice cracked mid-sentence, even though he was barely whispering. He knew Mark had heard him though because before he knew it his mouth was yet again attached to the filmmaker's. This time the kiss was aggressive, teeth clashed and lips were being bruised, but neither cared enough to stop. Mark's tongue had already forced itself into Roger's mouth, the feeling causing Roger to moan. Their tongues swirled together for a moment before Mark gently ended the kiss. Both boys were flushed and out of breath by the time they had pulled away. Roger smiled, looking at Mark expectantly. Mark laughed lightly, pulling Roger off the floor and onto the couch. Mark gently brushed their lips together again before smiling and pressing their foreheads together.

"I love you too, Roger. I always have...and I always will." Roger smiled, pulling Mark into a tight hug. For the first time, Roger felt like he was complete and everything was finally going right. It seemed that everything happened in the winter.

_The sky is falling and it's early in the morning,_

_But it's okay._


End file.
